just tell him i said nine months
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
