if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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