she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize