Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
