The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
