We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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