Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
