Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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