Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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