I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
