Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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