i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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