I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize