Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
