If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
