Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I look better un-naked...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
