She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
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Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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