Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize