2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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