Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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