dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
