What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
