There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
