My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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