i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
