Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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