Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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