Whod you bang
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
