Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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