Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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