my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
