I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
