Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
