Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Where is the hickey?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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