A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize