I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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