I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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