she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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