I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
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He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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