Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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