Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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