apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
