What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
