I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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