I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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