I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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