To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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