Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
