in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
operation harelip BJ is a go
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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