so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
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I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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