Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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