I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
