So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
