There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
