Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
