I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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