i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
did i walk over a car last night?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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