I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
