Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My underwear smells like fireworks.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
