singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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