great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
