i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
