Me too!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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